I don't want to let go of the pain, I want to feel like she's still a part of my life, even if it hurts so bad I want to end it all and give up on life. Sometimes, we invest so much into a relationship that we don't want to let it end. Even if you never see her, in your mind you're still half of that happy couple. When I feel I can't go on without her, there seems to be no choice but to hang on to the heartache, to the pain and anguish. But what if I allowed myself to let the hurt go? I'd have to start over; work on a whole new self-concept. Yes, that's scary; but delaying it won't make it any easier. The sooner I accept my loss, the sooner I can heal. In order to get over her, I have to decide the relationship is beyond saving, just as she's obviously done. Stop wishing she'd change, planning how I'll make her happier next time, fantasizing about a reunion, and making up schemes to get her back. Until I believe it's over, I'll be stranded, left languishing in this limbo of disparaging hope. So, I'll tell my family, my friends, and myself that she and I are through; and won't make myself available to her. Instead of investing hope in my past, I'll invest hope in my future. I'll make a commitment to myself and my healing. Why is it that I'm smart enough to think of all this, to know and understand all this, and still stubbornly choose to hang on - to grip it between my teeth and never, never, let go - to not follow my own good advice? ::devoid8